Mama

MAMA

For the edification of some of you nit picking critics who want to know “Whatever happened to Big Bad Ben and his Infamous Outlaw Express?” or The First legally Sanctioned Same Sex Marriage?” or Dr. Phil & Alice, The Serial Killer?” Or a lot of other questionable beginnings that have yet to come to closure --- all I can say is ---
Give me a break folks! Just because you are addicted to immediate gratification does not necessarily require me to make ends meet within your limited time frame -- or keep all my ducks in a row. A considerable challenge for a genetic misfit from the wrong side of the digital divide who thinks with the wrong side of her brain & speaks out of both sides of her mouth.
Besides which -- what are the benefits to me personally -- in keeping things in chronological order? It sure as hell never did anything for Jackson Pollack or Pablo Picasso! So why should I have to toe the mark? I mean -- what would you say about an avante garde artist who persists in spilling paint all over the floor to the extent that he has to stand on his own canvas as opposed to keeping it on an easel like any normal artist would? Or some other supposed genius who creates human torso’s as though they were roadside bomb victims’ whose scattered jigsaw puzzle parts are re-arranged to resemble the frightening “Freakenstein Monsters” that existed only in his fucked up mind?
Besides which -- think of the possible psychological damage to my “muse” if he, she or it starts feeling manipulated or micro managed. Like some Wild Mustang corralled & forced to accept that bothersome bit in its mouth. As good an excuse as any for an intangible source of inspiration to go on strike & leave me like Jay Leno -- “dumb struck” without his writers or any other crutch by which to razzle dazzle a captive audience. A potential outcome that could spell disaster for any True Blue Barnum or New Age Shakespeare Of Advertising.
So -- get outta my face you literary saboteurs’ who have nothing of redeeming value to say yourself -- but have an endless supply of rules & regulations by which others should bare their souls. Enough already with the brain farts from The Peanut Gallery! This is my 3 Ring Circus SUCKER -- not yours! My own Freaky Phantasmagoric Wild West Show & Sawdust & Spangled Space Odyssey. Not Yours! So I will proceed at my own Planck Time Pace with the Prehensile Pretzel Logic & gratuitous ill iteration that is so necessary to any inscrutable 3 Ring Circus.
With courage and monumental arrogance, I will carry on with this Exo Biological Adventure Series. A Walk On The Weird Side in which I will be hoping against hope that those of you trapped within the artificial constructs of linear reality, which presupposes the shortest distance between 2 points is a straight line, will ultimately be shocked out of your delusional disabilities. At least to the extent that eventually you will be able to connect the dots.
In the meantime, in her own space-time continuum & without the aid of any anti-gravity device -- Mama Corliani carries on with her own 3 Ring Circus where -- like yours truly -- she does it her way! This despite all opposition to the contrary & the determined disruptive efforts of a mentally unbalanced insurgent who just happens to be her own stubborn & seditious granddaughter. The Revolutionary UNABIMBO -- Oppositional Systems Buster dedicated to Regime Change & other whacked out terrorist activities & Perverse Political Crackpotisms.
It is this ignominious evolution of a Matriarchal Mafiosi succession of Maverick Outlaw Circus Queens who rule by Perpendicular Pasta Power & The Spaghetti Umbilical Modus Operandi, which has preserved this Sergio Leone Spaghetti Western Circus Dynasty for untold generations.
From that long ago original Wild West Octomom “Mama Mazeppa” and her “Wild Bunch Of A Different Persuasion” also known as “The Under The Rainbow Gang” who through a succession of mind boggling super natural events were eventually relocated to The Planet Bizzarro to the present day Mama Corliani -- Mother Of All Godfathers & Her Cowboy Cosa Nostra. This is a mystical, off the wall cult possessed of strange & controversial ideology. An ideology that clings to a reverse sexist tradition in the belief that they owe their uninterrupted continuity to the impenetrable glass ceiling whereby they have successfully managed to keep the male of the species in positions of powerlessness & subservience.
Their contention is that the unique floral arrangement that grows between a mans legs, somehow tends to subvert the plasticity of the brain that is lodged between their ears, making it impossible for him to see any further down the road than the end of his own dick. A condition which makes him prone to making decisions based on short sighted objectives. Like for instance “The Industrial Revolution” which brought about ‘The End Of Nature” & precipitated the greatest mass extinction since the KT boundary, and a lot of other Pyrrhic Victories for which mostly men are to blame.
How exactly this clannish mommy cult arrived at such an outrageous hypothesis is somehow eclipsed by the fact that for a number of generations of uninterrupted continuity -- this belief system has worked wonders for them. Both on The Goldilocks Planet & The Planet Bizarro where women rule, not because they’re any smarter than men, but because they can see further down the road.
Well -- like they say, “Nothing succeeds like success” or “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”
Ultimately, one cannot in good conscience truly appreciate the true meaning of Motherhood or the extent to which Mother Love can extend its influence unless one has personally experienced the fall-out and friendly fire of a dedicated Hell Bent for Leather Helicopter Mom in action, whose intentions are good, but whose behavior goes beyond the pale.
From the infamous Ma Barker & Her Gangsta Sons Of Bitches to the ever loven Mother Smotherin Maverick Circus Queens of that Rough Riding, Rootin Tootin Clan of Spaghetti Western Outlaws. The Red, White & Blue Riders Of The Purple Sage Who Gallop Helter Skelter O’er The Cotton Candy Tumble Weeds Of Their Own Kaleidoscope Frontier. A Wild West Contingent Of Mustachioed Macho Men whose curious “Code Of The West” would’ve made John Wayne turn over in his grave. The Equestrian Marvels Of That Cockamamie Circus Clan Of High Riding Super Duper Wimpy Anti Heroes Of A Much Wilder West & Alternant Outlaw Dimension. “Bodacious Big Top Phenomenon’s” who gave new meaning to the term “cowboy up.” -- as opposed to sitting down on their Sam Stag Saddles as any normal cowboy burning leather is prone to. This Gala Gang of “Marauding Mama’s Boys” stood straight upright like toy soldiers on their fast galloping steeds as though suspended by the invisible bungee cords of some rare electro magnetic force. A force that was obviously as powerful as Mother Love.



The following “Tale Told By An Idiot Full Of Sound & Fury” signifies a sincere attempt by one dissociative personality to find her TRUE NORTH from the center ring of a traveling circus in a world gone mad both UNDER THE BIG TOP & beyond the gated perimeters of her Gypsy Grandmothers infamous & subversive PSYCHO CIRCUS!
Unlike Big Bad Bens OUTLAW EXPRESS, Mama Corliani’s Show Biz Enterprise was not created for the purpose of “Lawlessness For The Sake Of Lawlessness” as exhibited by his rowdy renegade convict community. Rather her designer circus was created for the purpose of being a Protest Circus & Underground Political Movement intended to act as a living antidote to modern materialistic philosophies & its corrupt power brokers. The CEO’s who perpetuate the notion that Families Are Dispensable --- whether they are members of the human family or the animal kingdom and its equally dispensable habitat & environment. THE MODERN WORLD continues to sacrifice all to its skewed & sacrilegious concept of success at any price. Like the Native American, Mama Corliani saw everything as interdependent & interconnected like THE HORSE SHOE CRAB & a seemingly insignificant little red bird living thousands of miles from each other in different elements whose ultimate survival as well as yours and mine are dependant on one another.  She saw The Modern World as anathema to every living thing --- including herself & her family struggling to survive the MONOLITHIC CONCEPTS of  CORPORATE  SUPREMACISTS.  A one eyed Cyclops that discounts anyone or anything that does not contribute to the bottom line. A Global Economy in the hands of a mindless & heartless robotic monstrosity. Since she herself had learned the hard way that: “ALLS FAIR IN LOVE & WAR,” she figured all was fair in her love of warring against those she demonized. Like another Mama Grizzly determined to “Take Her Country Back” she favored grid-lock over compromise.
However, Mama Corliani’s methods were crude, her weapons simplistic & barbaric --- even to the point of being ludicrous. HERS was an OFF THE WALL --- OUT OF THIS WORLD entertainment phenomenon to which was attributed the following glowing accolades…
WARNING!
THE MARAUDERS ARE COMING
You Will Know Them By Their GREASY Appearance!
They are Thieves, Liars, and Scoundrels.
They Have No Show Worthy Of The Name. We Give You This Warning Because We too Are Thieves, Liars, & Scoundrels But Have Fallen Out With The Greasy Pack And NOW TELL THE TRUTH! WHEN THIEVES FALL OUT HONEST MEN GET THEIR DUE.
As a miscast member of this merry band of marauders I was forever obsessed with one overriding ambition. To make a fast getaway. FROM THEM, Easier said than done. Like Michael Corleone in The Godfather and I quote-- “Just when I think I can get out--- they keep pulling me back in!” I too was constantly surrounded by deranged family despots. In searching my genome for some clue as to who I was & how I got trapped in this Carnivorous Carnival Madhouse from which I was unable to extricate myself--- I was to discover, much to my surprise -- it was not The Gypsy aspect of my DNA-- nor the Aryan affects of The Master Race as inherited from my Munchausen By Proxy Mother -- LUISA  THE LOLLAPALOOZA ( Aerialist Extraordinaire of The Al Fresco World Of Entertainment) that was directly responsible for the Dementia Praecox to which I was exposed.
It was my unfortunate link to Aristocracy that was the root cause of all my problems! Who Knew? As with Mad King George, Henry The Eighth, Jack The Ripper & so many other Blood Thirsty Blue Bloods & Historic Aristocratic Nut Cases -- having Dumbo Ears like Prince Charles, & having a marked preference for bedding married rottweilers as opposed to Fairy Tale Princesses is the least of all the problems that can surface as a result of selective inbreeding.
So ---- For those of you with unrealistic expectations that this “Circus Expose” or as Gypsy Barnum refers to it as “The Greatest Show In Cyberspace” should make sense -- I ask you to consider the source & offer one cogent word of advice.  Forgetaboutit!!